Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
