Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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