Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize