She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
