Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
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Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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