As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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