is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Just high enough for therapy.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
