a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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