so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
