i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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