That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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