Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
