dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
