not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
