I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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