All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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