Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
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