somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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