his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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