I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
