8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
