Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
