remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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