Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
