I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
