sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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