Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
