I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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