Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
