I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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