Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
