I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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