she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
