The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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