you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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