Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
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