it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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