i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
