You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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