also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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