The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
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I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
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Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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