I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
how does that bad decision feel?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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