I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
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I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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