i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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