I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
dude i'm inner monologue high
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
