i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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