Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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