I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
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I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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