Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
do nipples grow back?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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