oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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