would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
