THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
