And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
