And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
