Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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