So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
You were trust falling into bushes
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
