he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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