Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
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It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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