Taylor Swift is so right about you.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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