We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
