Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
