2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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