YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
