he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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