I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
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I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
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We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How do u even exfoliate your vagina
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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