I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
why do cheetos always look like penises
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
