sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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