she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
ugly people sure do ruin things
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
